Don't you send me to vm
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
