i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
