i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Randomize
