Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
