We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
