smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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