i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
