i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
