Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He felt like a one man threesome
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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