Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
