how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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