don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
