i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
