ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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