this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
