I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
