my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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