Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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