ya dads aren't the best wingmen
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
