Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
