I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
