Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
