I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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