Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
