I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
