hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
