Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
