turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
