Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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