Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
