Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
