Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
God gave him joint rollers for hands
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
