i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
