Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
