you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
