Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
