I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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