Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
