i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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