Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We don't watch enough power rangers
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
