Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
