Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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