Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i out mim tonsoeep
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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