Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
