Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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