Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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