people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
