If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
