Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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