idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Less talking, more tequila
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
