Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
