exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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