They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
