we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
