your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
